Aaaah Madonna, what does Jesus think?

Madonna, Madonna please stop it.

The always amusing ‘Fear and Clothing’ writer on the Sydney Morning Herald website (‘Style stalker’ Mindy Laube) had me nearly spluttering out my porridge the other morning when I was perusing the news online. Ms Laube posted this, well, simply, horrible photo of Ms Madonna.

Holy Madonna. Forget Jocelyn Wildenstein or Melanie Griffiths, Ms Ciccone, you’re nearly there. The problem is that when these celebs start getting into a mega surgery frenzy -and we’re not talking the odd Botox jab _ but when there are cheek implants that look like small rosy apples; mega lip enhancements; facial fillers and a zillion skin resurfacing treatments (rendering the skin looking as veiny as 5-month embryo) the whole deal starts looking just plain shocking.

I once interviewed an utterly charming American dermatologist by the name of Frederic Brandt (who I tagged The Baron of Botox, which I kind of liked) who is renowned for his Botox techniques. He even does the neck.

One thing I couldn’t quite get was how old he exactly was. To be honest, and no matter how smooth and lineless his visage was, he could have been 40. Or he could have been 70. I still really don’t know.

And that’s what I loved about Mandy’s smh piece: “Air brushed magazine photos and copious amounts of plastic surgery would have us believe that ageing can be overcome with enough money, exercise and sheer will power. But can it really?,” says Mandy.

“Madonna’s done everything possible to stave off middle-age, and from the right angle she seems to have succeeded. But catch her from another side and she looks like any other wiry 50-year-old woman with a scalpel fetish.”

“On planet Hollywood though, no one is older than 35 – until, suddenly, they’re 70.”

Bit like my ‘Baron’ encounter – sometimes I just don’t think they now how really tragic they look. So thanks for the great read Mandy – you owe me a another plate of porridge.

It made me speak to the renowned Dr John Madirazza from Sydney’s Next of Skin Salon, who administers all those Botox and ‘fillers’, but he had one thing to say about the whole palaver. If you going to do anything, make sure it is subtle and fresh-looking. And that was it on the subject.

So, who are some of your favorite cosmetic surgery ‘tragedies’, by the way?

Have you had some tragic stories you know of? And who do you think are the most reputable practitioners around?